


He's the Reason

by Nakaion



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:44:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakaion/pseuds/Nakaion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall and Harry. Two best friends, but one of them wanted more. (Songfic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's the Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Spot the irony.

 

* * *

 

**_He looks at me_ **

**_I fake a smile so he won’t see_ **

**_That I want, and I’m needing_ **

**_Everything that we should be_ **

 

Niall had to hide his feelings for Harry. There was never a moment that he could ever drop his guard and let them escape, give any kind of hint towards the desire he kept sheltered. They were best friends- always have been, and hopefully always will be- but he wanted more. He wanted to hold Harry close to his chest, lean in, and have their lips meet. To hold hands with him and be able to say every word of love he had to bite his lip to stop from blurting out. Niall could almost say he needed these things. He needed it more than anything else.

Instead of telling him, though, he simply put it all aside and smiled whenever Harry looked his way. Niall told himself over and over that he’d do it another day. He never once thought that maybe he would miss his chance.

****

**_I’ll bet she’s beautiful_ **

**_That girl he talks about_ **

**_And she’s got everything that I have to live without_ **

 

It started that day.

Harry had met a girl. By the sounds of it, she was amazing and unbelievable and managed to steal the heart of the green eyed lad with only a glance. Something Niall could have never done.

Her name was Taylor.

Talented, gorgeous, and popular Taylor Swift, with lush blond locks and piercing blue eyes framed with dark lashes.

He knew he wasn't imagining the similarities between him and the girl- Harry had told him about her  **guitar playing** and  **singing** more than once- but it only seemed to make things worse. It meant that Harry found those qualities more attractive in  _her._

And so she got him, the boy NIall had pined after for so long and hard.

****

**_He talks to me I laugh ‘cause it’s so damn funny_ **

**_That I can’t even see_ **

**_Anyone when he’s with me_ **

 

Whenever Niall and Harry would be around each other, they were always smiling and looking as if they were having the time of their lives. Just having a conversation was enough for them to be content. Niall could never help the strong, uncontrollable laughter that would inevitably burst out whenever Harry was around. It would always be the two of them in their own little world -paying no attention to any people in the room. Only the other would matter.

  
**_He says he’s so in love_ **

**_He’s finally got it right_ **

That’s when she started appearing more and more in the conversations. _Taylor,_ Harry would say her name dreamily, was without question the definition of perfect. Harry believed she was the one, and that no other person he’d dated had given him such feelings before. He swore that sparks would fly when she was around.

He had even said that he loved her.

****

**_I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night_ **

 

Love was never something Harry would take lightly, not one to throw around the word with every person he'd dated. It would take a lot for him to consider himself 'in love'; to say the words with no doubts about his own feelings. That was how Niall knew his friend was serious about her.

 _No,_ Niall would think, a certain edge to his thoughts. _You can’t be in love with her. I..._ I _love you._

An endless amount of thoughts and wishes were invading in his head, and Niall longed to voice them. To yell and stop all this from happening right then and there. 

But he didn’t say a word.

****

**_He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_ **

 

Niall sighed, running pale fingers through his blond locks before playing the melody he’d created for Harry. Never having showed him the song, Niall had considered using this tune as a confession- Harry had always liked the blond's guitar, requesting songs and listening with soft smiles. They were both massive lovers of music, sometimes singing together as Niall strummed a favourite song of theirs. He watched as his own tears spilled onto the wood, and after a second, fading away.

_If only what I feel for Harry could fade away that easily._

****

**_The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star_ **

 

Glancing at the window, the night seemed to add to the gloomy atmosphere. The moon’s light wasn’t as bright as usual. A small trail of light danced across the sky for a brief moment, and a single wish entered his thoughts.

_I wish I could be enough for Harry._

****

**_He’s the song in the car I keep singing_ **

**_Don’t know why I do_ **

 

Niall honestly didn’t know why he couldn’t give up. Maybe it was his curls; the way he’d fix it with a few quick flicks of his wrist. Maybe it was his smile and the way they revealed his adorable dimples, and perhaps adding a cheeky wink just because. But maybe it’s his breathtaking beautiful green eyes, giving you a glimpse into his deep pool of emotions and the truly amazing person he was inside. 

All he knew was that he'll never be able to move on, no matter how hard he tried, it was a losing battle. There would be nothing he could do when his heart gets even more torn up, nothing at all.

****

**_He walks by me_ **

**_Can he tell that I can’t breathe?_ **

 

When they had classes without each other, they would pass by in the hallways with only nods and smiles exchanged. Niall didn’t mind- he was always speechless when Harry would simply walk by- full of confidence and radiating an extreme amount of cheekiness that was hard to resist. It still amazed him no matter how long he'd been friends with Harry or how many times this would occur, it was always the same.

****

**_And there he goes_ **

**_So perfectly_ **

**_The kind of flawless I wish I could be_ **

 

And when they were out of sight of the other, Niall would look back at the boy he loved and repeat the wish he would make over again. Perhaps, if he was as beautiful as Harry, they could’ve been together. In every love story, the perfect person could only  _deserve_ and end up with a person just as, well, perfect.

But as Niall, the Irish boy with crooked teeth that laughed a little too loudly, he knew he had no chance.

 

**_She better hold him tight_ **

**_Give him all her love_ **

**_Look in those beautiful eyes_ **

**_And know she’s lucky ‘cause_ **

 

Taylor. Niall couldn’t bring himself to hate her- after all, she had managed to love Harry and get him to love her back. And who could blame her? Niall had always wanted to do the same. He never wanted something bad to happen to her, only wishing he could tell her how lucky she was. To never let him go because no one like Harry would ever come her way again. That his best friend was one in a million.

He’d tell Taylor to stare deeply into the stunning green eyes of Harry’s and only give him the love he wanted.

The love Niall wished he could’ve been the one to give.

__

_**He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar** _

 

Playing the guitar rougher than before, the pain stabbing his heart with more force as the reality of his situation struck him even harder.

The tears came down more easily, running down his flushed cheeks without end. 

__

_**The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
** _

_**He's the song in the car I keep singing** _

 

He wiped his watering eyes fiercely with his sleeve. If Harry was glad... Niall should be as well. Even if it had to be an act. Why should his own suffering affect the one he love's wellbeing? Harry didn't need his hurt weighing him down from being truly happy.

__

_**Don't know why I do** _

_Harry is worth it,_ he decided. Being friends with him still was blessing enough as it was, wasn't it?

That's what he tries to convince himself as he abruptly stops moving his hands on the guitar, the song left unfinished as he jumps into his bed and stares at his bedside table.

**_So I drive home alone  
_ **

**_As I turn out the light  
_ **

**_I’ll put his picture down and maybe get some_ _sleep tonight_**

 

Trying to accept his fate as nothing more than the best friend, he let his arm move the picture frame face-down, out of his sight. It was a picture of them, before Taylor, before Niall’s feelings became more than platonic.  _Good times..._ the blond thought fondly. It brought back good memories, but still somehow made him feel sad.

For tonight Niall tried to forget about Harry Styles and his goddamn way of making him feel so good yet so _bad_ , to finally get a night of sleep without crying. 

__

_**‘Cause he’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
** _

_**The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart** _

 

Waking up after a dreamless sleep, going to back to torture himself was the last thing Niall wanted to do. Normally, he wasn’t one to cry over a crush- hell, he’d never even cried over a  _break-up_. He was always carefree and happy. But Harry, well, the boy had more power over him than he was aware of.

He had the power to break him.

__

_**He’s the song in the car I keep singing** _

**_Don’t know why I do_ **

**_He’s the time taken up_ **

**_But there’s never enough_ **

 

There he was. Waiting for Niall, as always. The blond’s face fell when he saw Taylor holding Harry’s hand, looking admiringly at the chiseled face and bouncy curls belonging to his best friend. 

It was going to be like this for a while; Harry and his pretty girlfriend together side by side whenever possible. Niall was again reminded that he should have treasured each moment he had with Harry before, that if he’d confessed… Things might have been different. Or maybe it wouldn't have been. Whatever the case, Niall wouldn't know what _could_ or _could not_ have been.

 

_**And he’s all that I need to fall into  
**_

_**He looks at me** _

 

And then, glancing up and grinning that heartbreaking, cheesy grin, Harry waved. Normally he would delude himself into thinking his green eyes would brighten up considerably, but not today. Niall began to walk over, giving Harry a hug (it shouldn’t have given him butterflies, but it did) and murmured a polite “Hey,” to Taylor.

His world was falling apart, but he wouldn't let anyone know.

__

_**I fake a smile so he won’t see** _

**Author's Note:**

> 2015-10-15: This work is sort of embarrassing to me now, but I figure I'll keep it up, since it's been here for two years now. I'd like to edit it, but I can barely read through it without cringing ahah.


End file.
